People may deny their alcoholism for different reasons—it’s not always about hiding it. Here are the different types of alcoholic denial and why people with alcohol addiction may deny their drinking problem. Understanding denial is a first step toward helping your loved one with alcohol use disorder.
- When discussing their issues, gently ask them about any challenges they may be facing that could possibly be related to their drinking habits.
- Higher average drinks needed for effects indicates lower response per drink and higher future risk for alcohol problems (Daeppan et al., 2000; Ray et al., 2010; Schuckit, 2018a; Schuckit et al., 2019 a, b).
- For example, they might use breath mints or mouthwash as an excuse for the smell of alcohol on their breaths.
- Furthermore, the fear of social judgment or concern for others’ perspectives can further fuel the cycle of denial and addiction.
- In this model, the addict is not forewarned of the intervention and a letter is written that lists examples of where the addiction has caused damage to them and the people around them.
Resurgence Behavioral Health encourages using “I” statements to communicate how their drinking impacts them, creating a space for them to reflect without feeling defensive. What might seem like a reasonable expectation in some circumstances might be totally unreasonable when art therapy for addiction it comes to someone with an addiction. When your loved one swears to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop of alcohol, you might believe them. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again.
Anger and defensiveness suggest that your loved one has some awareness of a problem but is afraid to face it. You can also call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline. This free helpline is available 24/7 and can help match you to programs, treatments, and support groups in your area if you live in the United States. Resurgence Behavioral Health suggests encouraging your loved one to express their feelings and concerns while actively listening without judgment. Giving them a chance to voice their thoughts and feelings can foster a sense of trust.
Ready to make a change?
Growing up in a home where alcohol use is common, can leave lasting scars. Accepting unacceptable behavior usually begins with some small incident that you brush off with, “They just had too much to drink.” But the next time, the behavior may get a little worse and then even worse. Before you realize it, you can find yourself in a full-blown abusive relationship. When someone with alcohol dependency promises they will never drink again but a short time later are back to drinking as much as always, it is easy to take the broken promises and lies personally.
They might feel powerful, unpleasant emotions such as shame, stress, and fear at the thought of confronting the problem. In most cases, someone who relies on alcohol and drugs will continue to be in denial about their addiction until their problems become impossible to ignore. This could happen in the form of an overdose or other major health event, legal trouble, or relationship strain or loss. Completing alcohol rehab is a proven method for overcoming alcoholism. In rehab, people undergo alcohol detox, learn about the dangers of alcoholism and find new ways to avoid drinking.
How to approach your loved one
To prepare for the study we searched the literature for specific characteristics of individuals who evidence denial. Once your loved one shows signs of acceptance when it comes to their addiction, it’s time to consider next steps. It’s common for functioning alcoholics to be in denial about their dependence on alcohol. They may try to rationalise their level of drinking by saying that if they’re able to hold down a job and a healthy social life, then they can’t possibly have a problem. When dealing with a loved one who is struggling with addiction, especially if they are in denial, staging an intervention can be a powerful step toward encouraging them to seek help.
Supported living
It’s about being there for them, offering a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on, while also ensuring you don’t compromise your own well-being. Encourage them to seek help, whether through support groups, counseling, or recovery programs tailored for alcohol use disorder (AUD). Remind them that admitting the need for help is the first step towards recovery. For example, someone might express that they can handle alcohol just fine or that they only drink socially; it’s not a problem.
It’s about showing that you care for their well-being rather than criticizing their behavior. This approach encourages trust and openness, making it more likely for them to listen. It’s essential to convey a message of hope to your loved one struggling with alcoholism denial. Let them know that there are ways they can overcome their addiction and live a fulfilling life once again.
Enabling also creates an environment that fosters co-dependency and negatively impacts appropriate support systems. “When you take steps to heal, it gives everyone permission around you to do the same,” says Spotorno. healing from living with alcoholic parents Anger and frustration can be tough emotions when supporting someone with AUD. Reminding yourself that you can’t “fix” your loved one — but you can be there for them — can help you cool off, says Elhaj.
